


Dear Diary, Life is trying me...

by Join_The_MCRmy



Category: Bandom, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Normal High School, Diary/Journal, F/M, Frerard, Gay, Gay Male Character, High School, M/M, Male-Female Friendship, POV Male Character, Punk, Rikey
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-05
Updated: 2014-08-08
Packaged: 2018-02-11 21:36:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 6,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2084037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Join_The_MCRmy/pseuds/Join_The_MCRmy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gerard Way, awkward teenager extraordinaire, decides to write in a journal to get rid of some of his teenage angst. Along the way, he becomes infatuated with a boy around his age named Frank. Will he have a chance with him? Read and find out!</p><p>Title Credit- Get Scared, 'Don't You Dare Forget The Sun'</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Entry 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is also posted on Wattpad. My username is the same on there as well :)

Friday, April 11, 2014

Today kind of sucked. So I decided to start writing in here to kind of get my feelings out.

Oh yeah, sorry. I forgot to introduce myself. I guess I should start again.

Dear Journal Diary Book Thing,

I'm Gerard, but you should know that because I wrote my name in the front where it says 'This Book Belongs To,' but in case you were lazy and didn't read that, here you go! But what if you don't read this part either?!  _Ahhhh-_

Well, I'm getting off topic now I guess.

Well, anyways, I got up this morning like usual and I drove my brother and myself to school, and we got there and he went to his friends and I just kind of stood in a corner alone, again, like usual, until the bell rang for homeroom.

Then I went to American History class (like usual) and I sat down in my seat (like usual) and the teacher started to talk about the sports team he coaches for, and I kind of just lost it and blurted: "You don't even teach!"

Silence filled the classroom. It hurt to breathe. I couldn't believe I popped like that.

 _"What_  did you just say?" he asked, venomously.

I kept up my resolve and muttered, "You don't even teach."

He then proceeded to flip over the stand he was leaning on, turn around, to catch a breath, then said,"Okay, you think I don't teach? Well I'll teach. You have a quiz and an essay do on Monday, and I'm going to assign spring break homework. How does that sound?"

I was glad that he didn't assign a quiz for Saturday. Knowing him, he would make it happen.

Then the class went nuts and started yelling at me and throwing crumpled pieces of paper at my head. Mr. Husk didn't really give a fuck. He just turned around and left me there. I hate him.

_I'm wondering now if it was the best idea to go to Catholic school._

I survived the day, though. The rest was the same. I sat alone at lunch (Mikey has a different lunch period), I went to the rest of my classes, then I drove Mikey home.

Now I'm in bed writing this.

I thought it might be a good idea.

I have a good place to vent.

This is all I'm gonna write today.

XO,  
 **G**

 


	2. Entry 2

Saturday, April 12, 2014

I saw a really hot guy today.

Oh, woops. I did it again.  _(I played with your heart, got lost in the game, Oh baby_   _baby..._  hehe _)._ Let's start over.

Dear Journal (I need to name you, I think),

I saw a  **REALLY**   **HOT**  guy as I was walking to the convenience store to buy Mom some cigarettes (the guy there knows I'm too young to buy 'em, but he knows me, so he doesn't care). He was skateboarding with a couple guys I recognized from some of my classes. I don't remember their names, though. They never really mattered to me until now. I really wanted to say something, but of course, I'm too awkward and shy.

_FML._

And, yeah, I'm gay. You have a problem with it journal? Huh?  **HUH?!**

>.<, I'm so lame. Fighting with an inanimate object...

_Back to the story._

The guy was short and he had long-ish black hair, and I was too far to see his eye color. But his face....  _Ugh._  Just gorgeous. Beautifully chiseled like some kind of teenage  _god._

**_Adonis._ **

I think that's what I'll call him until I find out his name... Adonis. It fits.

I didn't see the guy on my way back though, so I was kind of disappointed. I guess he and his friends went to the park to skateboard .

But, what can you do?

I can't wait until I see Adonis again.

XO,

**G**   
**  
**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FYI, Adonis is the god of beauty and desire in Greek mythology. Thank you Wikipedia.


	3. Entry 3

Sunday, April 13, 2014

Dear journal,

Not much happened today.  Mom went to the salon to get her hair done and Mikey and I stayed home playing video games together until he left to go to his girlfriend's house. Probably to have sex.

 _Whatever_.

It's just really weird thinking about how my 15 year old brother is getting some,  while I'm the weird 17 year old emo virgin.   
 _Kind of unfair_  .

Mikey's nice and all, and I know I shouldn't expect him to spend all of his time with me, but I don't really have anyone else to spend time with, unlike him.

So, I ended up spending most of the day alone because Mom went out to dinner with Dad once she was done with her hair stuff.

Sometimes I wonder if they even notice that I never go out with friends, and I never talk about friends. Sometimes I wonder if they can even tell that I'm  _gay._

I didn't tell them. They didn't ask. So, whatever. It's not like they pay enough attention to me to even care anyways.

I think I'm gonna try and come up with names for you tomorrow.  You seem like a guy,  maybe a John... I'm not sure yet.

It's getting late,  I should probably go to bed.

XO,

  
**G**


	4. Entry 4

Monday, April 13, 2014

Dear Soon-to-be-named Journal,

It's Gerard again. Well,  _obviously._

I've come up with some possible names for you:

-Jack

-Mike

-Rian

-Jake

-Alex

-Billie Joe

-Brendon

-Ryan

-Dallon

-James

-Oliver

-Andrew

-Kellin

-Victor

-Bert

I'm not sure which one though.

This will be a hard decision. I'll narrow it down a bit.

_Hmm..._

Well, Jack sounds too much like Jack and the beanstalk.

Alex is meh. I'm not sure if I want a unisex name for you.

Rian is just spelled weird.

Jake is..  _okay_  I guess.

I don't know where Billie Joe came from.

Brendon is just.. nah, ur not a Brendon.

Ryan is cute. I like Ryan.

James is too old sounding. I think you're more hip than that.

Oliver is nice. It has a nice ring to it.

Andrew is again, too formal sounding.

Kellin is too weird.

Victor.. why did I even put that on the list?

And Bert... too... Sesame Street...

So that leaves Jake, Ryan, and Oliver.

I think I'm gonna go with.. Oliver.

I like Oliver.

It's cute.

Oli for short, maybe?

I hope you like the name.

Well, anyways school sucked today. It  **REALLY**  sucked.

Word travels fast at Catholic school! Isn't it like against a commandment to gossip or something? I wouldn't know. I'm not very religious.

EVERYONE knows. And when I say everyone. I mean  **EVERYONE.**

Even random freshman people.

People are whispering in the halls right in front of me, and avoiding me like the plague... Even the  _freshmen!_

Why did I let my mouth slip?  _WHYYY???!!!!_

But really, why should people who aren't even in my class be angry?

I was courageous. I'm like a  _martyr,_  without the dying part.

I think my classmates should be happy. Mr. Husk never gives much homework, so the essay is like good homework points! He doesn't even care about grammar either. He's so  _stupid..._

The only reason he's even allowed to teach is because he is a good coach and his uncle is one of the  _deans._

_Isn't that wonderful?_

But luckily, my American History teacher was not there today! I got to go a whole period without Mr. Husk! Yay!

The sub was cool too. She didn't say much.

We had mass today too. It was one of those Stations of the Cross masses. There was a really good singer. But the Stations themselves were some sort of weird, wordless, miming, sort of interpretive thing. It was weird.

 _I_   _hope it'll be better next year._

 _Oh!_  And I almost forgot to tell you. I saw Adonis in the hallway today on my way to fifth period. He didn't see me though, of course. Plus, he's probably straight.

It's like that thing where once you see someone once you suddenly see them again and again.

I had never noticed him before, probably because I'm usually trying to run to my next class as quickly as possible to avoid people.

I hope I see him again tomorrow...

Well, that's all I have to say today Oli  _(loving the new name)_.

XO,

**G**


	5. Entry 4

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Dear Oliver,

One more day until I'm out of this hellhole.

 _Oh wait_. Isn't that blasphemy or something? _I am on holy ground... I think._

I didn't see Adonis today. Most people just stayed home. Spring break starts tomorrow anyways.

The highlight of my day was watching Ratatouille in french class, even though the teacher played it in french and didnt put english subtitles on.

I still enjoyed it.

Mr. Husk assigned homework for tomorrow.

 _I really wish I'd skipped_.

But other than that, school was fine.

Nothing else to say today Oli.

XO,

**G**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's short >.


	6. Entry 6

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Dear Oliver,

Today was a half day so all of my classes were shortened. 

I still had a math quiz though. 

_Bitch._

Mr. Husky ( _hehe, get it? 'Cause he's fat)_ assigned the spring break homework. It wasn't a joke like the quiz ended up. If i didn't mention it before, he didn't give us the quiz. He was too lazy to make it.

I knew he wouldn't _. Lazy bastard._

We have this fucking long 100 question assignment to do. We have to answer like 100 questions on fucking American history in paragraphs -not short answer. Like WTF? Is he on crack or something? 'Cause I bet that's against a commandment too. Maybe  _Thou shalt not get high_? I should start writing a list of commandments.

**Gerard Way's Commandments**

1)  _Thou shalt not get high_

I guess I'll add more as time goes on. That could be fun.

Adonis wasn't there again. I saw one of his friends though 'cause he's in my religion class. His name is Ray. He's okay, I guess, but I haven't really ever talked to him. 

I should though. It might get me one step closer to Adonis.

It's kind of sad that I didn't pay attention to his name until tday when the teacher called on him...  _Poor Ray._

I bet Adonis is on a cruise or something right now enjoying life. Meanwhile I'm stitting at home writing in a journal I named.

_I'm so pathetic._

After school ended I left as quickly as possible with Mikey and came here, to my room, and started writing in you. I wonder what I'll do for the rest of break though.

XO,

**G**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is also on Wattpad. I post there first. I'm actually on Entry 31. I post way later on archive. If you search up Dear Diary, Life is trying me (Frerard) on Wattpad you'll find it! My username on Wattpad is the same as this one :)


	7. Entry 7

Thursday, April 17, 2014

Dear Oli,

Today is Holy Thursday I think. I don't know exactly what's supposed to happen on Holy Thursday but I do know that like 2000 or so years ago Jesus was crucified around this time? Maybe...

I don't pay enough attention in religion class apparently.

I do know that he resurrects on Easter though.

Well, anyways.

I did absolutely nothing today. I just read a book and occasionally got something to eat or drink.

Mikey was gone for the whole day again, Dad's on a business trip, and Mom was getting her fake eyelashes fixed.  _Women_.

I finished my book. I really enjoyed it. It's one of those teen girl romance novels (my guilty pleasure) called  _Nevermore_  by a woman named  _Kelly Creagh._

It's an amazing story, because not only is the plot flawless, but the author based a lot of the action around Edgar Allan Poe, whose work I adore.

If you were a human, Oli, I would recommend you to read it.

But you're not.

Is it sad that you're my best friend?

I hope I'm your best friend, Oliver, 'cause if I'm not, that means someone else has been using my journal. 

And that's absolutely  _not cool._

I think I might put a lock on you. Just to make sure my juicy secrets don't get spilled like in that old Disney Channel movie. 

_What a scary thought._

I'll buy a lock tomorrow at the store.

**Commandment #2:**

_Thou shalt lock thy diary so you don't end up like that girl in the movie._

Talk to you tomorrow!

XO,

**G**


	8. Entry 8

Friday, April 18, 2014

Dear Oli,

Today is Good Friday. 

It  _was_  a good Friday, I think.

You may notice the beautiful dark green lock on you today. I have fulfilled the second commandment of Gerard Way. You are now lockable. Yay!!!

I bought the lock at the  _CVS (_ whatever that stands for) that's a mile away. The same convenience store that I had walked to the day I saw Adonis for the first time. 

As I walked over I saw him skateboarding on the sidewalk with his friends. I remembered Ray. He's kind of hard to miss with his out of control frizzy afro. I didn't know who the other guy was though.

_Not like it really matters._

What  _actually_  matters is that I found out Adonis's name (so I guess I can't really call him that anymore).

I walked  _really slowly_  so I could observe the boy on the other side of the sidewalk. He looked like he was about to do a trick.

_I was right._

He did some sort of flippy thing, but I wasn't really paying attention. All I saw were those beautiful black locks bouncing in the light.

I might be a  _little_  obsessed.

Apparently the trick he did must have been pretty cool because his friends were like "Yay Frank!" and "You go Frankie!" and "Frankenstein is the  _man_!".

I gathered that his name is  _Frank_. Well, either that or Frankenstein...

 _Frank_. What a nice name.

It's good to have something to call him now.

Again, after I had left the convenience store after buying your new lock, they weren't there. They probably have a path they take everyday, or every-day-they-have-no-school.

That's cool I guess.

I'm really excited that I know his name now.

Once I find out his last name, I'll be able to look him up in the yearbook!

_Or is that too stalkerish?_

Well, either way, it doesn't matter since he's straight.

_Straight._

Ugh.

Well, to change topics, Mikey was gone today again. I hope his girlfriend doesn't get pregnant.

I'm too young to be an uncle.

I haven't even met her yet. All that I know is that her name is Alice or something. I wasn't paying that much attention when he was going on about how  _sexy her body is_  and stuff.

I bet he wishes he had a straight brother.

 _Well, no such luck_.

You're okay with me being gay though, right Oli?

Thanks for being so supportive.

We're totes  _BFFLs :P_

I bet you're gay too.

We should date ;)

XO,

**G**


	9. Entry 9

Saturday, April 19, 2014

Dear Oli,

I'm pretty sure Jesus is dead by now. I think he resurrects tomorrow or something. 

_I forget the story every year._

This morning I ambushed Mikey before he could go to _Alice's_  house.

"Do you know any Franks?" I asked him.

Frank looked young. Old enough to be in high school, but maybe a freshman or a sophomore. I knew for sure that he couldn't be in my grade.

"Yeah," he said, "why?"

"Um.. how about a short one with black hair?"

"Frank  _Iero_?"

"Does he hang out with Ray, you know, the guy with the Afro?" I inquired.

"Yeah. Frank's cool. I've gone to a couple parties with him. Why are you so interested in him anyways?"

" _Oh,_  no reason... Any idea why he missed the last couple days of school?"

"I don't know. Maybe he was sick. Does it matter?"

 _Yes,_  I wanted to say. "No, not really."

"Okay then. I gotta go see Alicia. Anything else?" he said in a hurry.

"No."

"Okay then. Bye Gerard."

"Bye."

So her name is Alicia.  _Woops._

_I still like Alice better._

 

The second Mikey left, I ran upstairs and picked up last year's yearbook. If he's a sophomore, I knew he would be there. 

I looked under the freshman pages and found  _Frank Iero._

That confirmed it. He's a sophomore.

_How could I have not noticed him?_

He looked absolutely flawless in his yearbook photo. I always look derpy...

Then again, I'm not  _Adonis_.

**Commandment #3:**

_Thou shalt stalk hot guys in your yearbook._

For the rest of the day, I just watched tv. Mostly TLC. I really like that show  _What Not To Wear._ Even though it's just re-runs now. 

It's too bad. It was always my dream to get fashion help from  _Stacey_ and  _Clinton._

 

Back to Jesus, Mom dragged us to Church at like five in the afternoon.

Luckily, she didn't make us go to  _Catholic_  church. I already had mass at school this week and it was  _more_  than enough.

So we went to one of those non-denominational (but really Baptist, who are they kidding?) churches that has a live band play Christian rock before the pastor comes out.

The pastor is pretty cool. He has tattoos.

I normally go to the adults section with my mom. The teenagers in the youth section scare me. You'd think they'd be nice to you at Church. But I guess if you show up in a band shirt, it gives people the right to be rude apparently.

Today was no different.

Mikey had friends in his little youth group area. So he went there while I stayed with Mom in the main auditorium.

_I'm so jealous of his social-ness._

Dad didn't come with us. He never does.

He's lucky.

It's not even that I don't believe in God or anything. I'm just agnostic. And I don't like it when people shove their religion down my throat.

Church was fine.

And now I'm home, writing in you.

Happy almost Easter!

XO,

**G**


	10. Entry 10

Sunday, April 20,2014

Dear Oli,

Happy Easter and Weed Day. Jesus is alive again!  _HALLELUJAH!_

I think it's kind of messed up that Weed Day is the same day as Easter this year.

 _What kind of idiot,_ does _that?_

Can't the Pope change the date or something?

_I guess not everybody sees the world the same way as I do._

Idiots.

I was excited today, because every Easter for like the last five years, we have gone to a nice (and might I mention  _fancy_ ) Italian restaurant for a super delicious brunch. There's always a hot guy at the brunch somewhere for eye candy and then there's the waffle guy for, well, waffles. His waffles are  _perfection_. I could eat them all day every day for the rest of my life. There are pancakes and other things too. And there's also a more lunch-ey area of the buffet, but I like the waffles best.

So I got up early, and wore a pair of blue jeans and a white shirt (because Easter is one of those holidays where you just  _can't_  wear black -except for shoes and purses and stuff, of course). And I ended up being the first one ready. 

Dad's normally first. I'm normally last. It kind of sad that I take longer than a  _woman_ , but I have my personal standards. I don't want to go out looking like a hobo, right?

Oh, and speaking of Dad, l'm not sure if I mentioned that he came back from his business trip yesterday morning. And of course you need to know this information since you're my  _boooyyyffffrrrriiieenndd,_  right?

So I was all excited and stuff when we went out to the car. Mom was wearing a pretty floral printed dress, Dad was wearing a pastel blue shirt, and Mikey was wearing a navy blue shirt.  _Obviously_ , he didn't get the memo that you're supposed to look bright on Easter.

Dad started driving and about ten minutes into the drive I noticed that we were  _not_  going in the right direction.

"Dad, we're going the wrong way, _Il Toscano_  is over that way," I pointed out.

"Oh, we're not going there this year," he said matter-of-factly.

 _AREN'T PEOPLE SUPPOSED TO TELL ME THIS SORT OF INFORMATION?_ At least, so I can mentally prepare myself.

"Then where  _are_  we going?" I asked him.

"Shinju."

That's when my world collapsed.

I could see it.

All the Asian children running around, the random birthday music, the old guy that sneezes on all the food.

Ew.

_Just ew._

" _Why_  are we going there?" I asked.

"Don't give us that tone mister," Mom admonished.

"But-but we're going to  _Shinju."_

"Yeah, we're going to Shinju. I thought it would be cool to change it up a little," Mikey piped in.

"What?  _You_  did this?" I said as I looked to him.

"Yeah, I love that place," he smiled.

_OMG. Like WTF._

That place is like  _Chuck E Cheese,_  minus the games. The kids go  _nuts_.

 _And_ , it's  _always_  crowded.

I sunk into my seat with my arms across my chest in defeat.

So, we got to  _Shinju_ , the disgusting Asian restaurant with the nasty fat noodles, and sat down at a table, which was too close to another table. The restaurant was  _packed._  

A bunch of Asian children, Everywhere.

Mom kept trying to take photos inside the restaurant but there was always some Asian kid coming in front of us and messing our picture up.

_Control your children, please._

I couldn't take it. It was absolute hell.

Did I mention it was loud in there too?

And there were at least fifteen crying babies, no joke.

And don't even get me  _started_  on the food.

It's a big buffet with nasty Asian food (the best is  _Panda Express,_  obviously) that I would never eat unless I was starving. 

I was.

So I ate it.

Even though the fat guy in the horrendous tourist-y shirt sneezed on the fried rice and touched the bread with his bare hands after wiping his nose.

_Manners, people. MANNERS!_

I didn't get seconds like Mikey did. It was too disgusting.

I don't understand how the  _Shinjus_ stay in business. They're disgusting.

And they played no music! Well, unless you call the  _Chuck E Cheese-_ souding Happy Birthday shit as music. It started off slow, then it got all fast and dancey,  _then_  the singer started to sing in Japanese.

I wished I had a teleporter in that moment. I wanted to go somewhere far, far, away. 

Everybody else seemed content though.

But really, a Japanese restaurant on  _Easter?_

_People can be really dumb._

I think I forgot to mention the smell too.

But whatever, I think you get the picture.

We were there for three fucking hours, too.

But I did nothing else really for the rest of the day.  _Shinju_  was  _exhausting_.

Happy Easter Oli <3

XO,

**G**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that's all I'm gonna post for today. I hope you enjoyed!


	11. Entry 11

Monday, April 21, 2014

Dear Oli,

Today Dad decided that he wanted to have a  _Guys Day Out._  I'm pretty sure Mom told him to. He doesn't like hanging out with us.

Mikey wasn't in his room though. He was at  _Alice's_ , I assumed.

Dad didn't seem to care, however. I guess he was relieved to not have to spend time with BOTH of us.

So we went into the car and he asked me what I wanted to do.

My answer was fast.

"I want to go see  _Vizcaya_."

"Haven't you been there?"

"No. Because you never  _took_  me there!" I answered back, a little rudely.

He sighed. "Fine. I guess we can take the new express lanes."

I smiled.

 _Villa Vizcaya_  is an old (basically palace) house that was converted into a museum. It's located in Miami near Coconut Grove which is not too far from where we live. It's mainly a tourist attraction, and that's why I'd never gone. It's kind of like those people who grew up in New York and never saw the Statue of Liberty. It's pretty lame.

So we pulled in and it was beautiful. There was a nice little forest-y entrance area, then you park your car, then there's a pedestrian path that takes you up to where you get your tickets.

Let me just add that the guy at the ticket counter was EXTREMELY HOT. _OMG._

Luckily, Dad did the talking so I didn't have to stutter in front of the sexy beast :P >.<

The house itself was magnificent from the outside, and the inside was GORGEOUS. Different pieces from different parts of the world all in one mansion. There was even two table legs that dated from like 50 B.C.! It was sooooo amazing!

And the gardens outside were awesome! There were so many. And lots of fountains. And even a little theater garden. 

There was a boat dock, and a stationary party-boat-thing.

_Why would someone turn that place into a museum?_

I would have kept it. 

And thrown wild parties.

And I would invite  _Frank_.

And he would totally love me because I would be rich.

_I wish._

I want to live there.

So I made Dad walk with me all around the large villa, even though he was tired. 

Then he took me out to lunch at some random seafood place near the beach, and it was really yummy.

Then we went to see  _Captain America: The Winter Soldier._

Let me just take a moment to just think about the hotness of Captain America and Bucky.

_Especially Bucky. Mmm ;)_

They're both so sexy!

OMG!

It was the best thing ever!

And the movie was good too.

So, even though I wanted to stalk Frank today, I guess it wasn't too bad having a  _Guy's Day Out._

Well, I'm tired now.

Goodnight Oli.

XO,

**G**


	12. Entry 12

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Dear Oli,

Mikey came home this morning. I know this because today I woke up early.

Yes, you heard right.  _Early._

I guess that's what he does. Sneak in and get his shit then go back to Alice's room.  _Horny teenagers._

There is a reason why I got up early though.

I wanted to see Frank.

I always see him around 9 a.m. by the convenience store, and I figured he probably would be skateboarding from thepark by my house to the much larger park a couple miles over because a lot of people do that.

I decided to get up early today so I could try and catch him at the smaller park, and maybe, just  _maybe_ he would ask me to be his boyfriend (or his husband -whichever will do), or more realistically, he could ask me to hang out with him and Ray, and that other guy (whose name really doesn't matter).

Mikey didn't notice me watching him leave, I'm just sneaky like that.  _Like a ninja._

I left a couple minutes after he did, with my phone and a few bucks in a wallet.

Mom and Dad still weren't up, and I doubt they would care that  _I_  left, especially since Mikes does it EVERY. SINGLE. MOTHERFUCKING. DAY.

_But I'm getting off topic._

Anyways...

I walked toward the smaller park quickly, but I hid behind the palm trees and bushes so no one would see me.

It took about 15 minutes (since I'm a very fast walker) to get to the small park. It has a playground and a small trail that loops around on man-made hills. It's fun to rollerblade on, or in Frank's case, skateboard.

_Maybe he can teach me._

I could see a short figure in the distance.  _Adonis_.

Then this terrible feeling washed over me. I recognized it as fear.

 _Pathetic_.

So, I walked back (luckily I was hidden, so he hopefully didn't see me), and I made it back home in about half an hour since I was tired, and I felt kind of bad. 

I can't believe I missed out on such a great opportunity to talk to Frank! I'm such a coward.

So I did what cowards do, and I went to my room with a bowl of ice-cream, got a blanket, and watched a movie on  _Amazon Prime_. Namely, Captain America: The First Avenger (I just can't get enough of that hunky Sebastian Stan, but Frank's still hotter).

 _Why couldn't I have just_ talked _to him?_

At least one good thing came out of today: I found out exactly what route Frank takes in the morning with his friends. That means I can try again.

_And I know I will._

That's all for today Oli.

XO,

**G**


	13. Entry 13

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Dear Oliver,

I'm no less cowardly than I was yesterday, so I didn't go back to the park. I just couldn't. I have all of these doubts, and I really need to stop worrying so much about what he thinks of me.

Plus, something crazy happened this morning. I probably couldn't have seen Frank unless I had found some way to sneak out.

For some reason I woke up really early again, and just like yesterday, Mikey was sneaking in to get his shit.

But there was something very different today.

Actually,  _two_  somethings.

"Where have you been?" My father asked him sternly.

_Shit is going down._

I honestly didn't think they cared.

I stayed hidden behind my parents so that I wouldn't be seen.

"For the past week, we haven't seen you?"

He didn't reply.

"Do you think this is funny?!"

He looked down at his feet.

Mom and Dad looked at each other, and nodded.

"No tv for a week," Mom said.

"No leaving the house until the end of spring break unless we're with you," Dad continued.

"And NO VIDEO GAMES!" they yelled in unison.

I chuckled because Mikey LOVES his video games.

"Oh, you think this is funny, huh?" Dad said as he turned toward me. I guess they saw me.

I shouldn't have done that.

"No music for you."

My world crumbled.

"Really, dad, let's talk about this-"

Mikey shot me a smug smile from over Dad's shoulder.

"Oh, that's not enough for you?! Fine! You can't leave the house, either," Dad yelled.

I shut up.

Then he and Mom walked away.

The rest of the day was spent playing Mikey's video games (because he couldn't). And I could hear my music being played from Mikey's room.

Yes, the damn bastard stole my iPod and was playing my music to taunt me. He even messed with the settings and made the bass barely audible.   
Which is weird, considering he's a  _bass player._

**Commandment #4**

**Thou shalt not REMOVE THE FUCKING BASS FROM A ROCK SONG.**

_Gah._

So, today sucked.

And Dad didn't say when my grounding would be over.

And it really bothers me that he punished me for no reason.

Fml.

XO,

**G**


	14. Entry 14

Thursday, April 24, 2014

Dear Oli,

I really wanted to go see Frank today. But of course, I couldn't.

Not because I was too scared.

But because I was  _grounded._

My dad left early this morning for a business trip (honestly, I don't even know what he does for a living, I don't think he ever told me) and Mom made us keep our doors open so that she can make sure we don't sneak out.

It was like she read my mind or something.

So I spent my day in my room watching some show about fat women buying wedding dresses on  _TLC._  There was this really pretty one with sparkles and  _everything._  But it should've been 10 sizes smaller.

_If I were a woman, I would totally try and lose weight for my wedding. I'd postpone it for as long as it takes for me to fit into my dream gown..._

But that's just me.

I watched like 3 hours of that show.

Lame, right?

Then I fell asleep out of boredom.

Honestly, I wish I could've done something today.

Spring break is supposed to be  _fun._

That's all for today.

XO,

**G**


	15. Entry 15

Friday, April 25, 2014

I found a loophole.

Mom said I couldn't leave the  _house_.

Oh shit sorry. I'll start again.

Dear Oli (Can't forget to greet you :P),

Like I was saying, Mom never said I couldn't go into the backyard, right? The backyard is part of the house, I think.

So I decided to go swimming, and Mom didn't stop me.

It was hot today -but that was to be expected, of course. And I was looking just a little pasty (I wanna look hot for Frank, ya know), so I figured it'd be a two in one! Swimming and tanning!

I invited Mikey too. He didn't come.

I pitifully played Marco Polo with myself (Don't ask), and floated for a little while.

Luckily, since I'm Italian, I tanned a bit without burning.

I'm not  _really_  tan now, I just look like a living person instead of a vampire.

_Not that I would really mind being a vampire..._

It's fun floating in the pool, I must say.

Especially when you bring a book with you.

I used one of those inflatable bed thingies and read the book  _Obsidian_  by Jennifer L. Armentrout.

It's an alien romance story. 

And it's  _amazing._

Honestly, I want an alien boyfriend now.

 _Maybe Frank is an alien. It_ would _explain his godly looks..._

But even if he's not, I'll still like him.

I feel that connection with him. That  _vibe._ That  _spark_..

Maybe I'm just crazy.

I didn't hear anything from Mikey today. I think he's still pissed about being grounded.

Well you know what? I am too.

 _Especially,_  since  _I_  didn't do anything! I wanted to go see Frank! Is that too much to ask?

Well I'm done bitching for today.

See you tomorrow,

XO,

**G**


	16. Entry 16

Saturday April 26

Dear Oli,

Honestly, Mikey is an idiot.

Our punishment was only for  **FOUR MORE DAYS** , and he just had to  **RUIN**  it.

 _How?_  you ask.

He snuck out again.

_That fucking dickhead._

Couldn't he just use his hand for once?!

No, he needed the  _real_  thing..

_Blech._

So it got extended until next Friday.

So no Friday night movie time with my imaginary friends at their imaginary houses with my imaginary boyfriend, I guess.

Too fucking bad.

I was looking forward to it.

But I did discover something amazing today.

It's called...

Wait for it...

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Wait for it....

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Almost there!

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

... **WATTPAD!**

♥♥♥

There's all sorts of stories on that site.

I have no idea how I  _survived_  without it!

I made an account and started exploring the diffrent genres.

And OMG I forgot to tell you the BEST PART!

It's abolutely....

**FREEEEEEEEEEEEEE**

I read poems first, and then I started a teen gay romance novel.

I voted and commented all over. It was so much fun.

But I'm not done with the story yet.

And it was great finding people with siimilar interests and following them.

I even started a conversation with a couple people who like the same bands as me. It was pretty exciting.

And I think it's pretty amazing that people my age or younger (or older I guess) can write such awesome things.

So I guess today wasn't a  **TOTAL** fail.

I discovered  _Wattpad_  and I bitch slapped my brother when he came back home.

I'm pretty proud of myself.

XO,

**G**


	17. Entry 17

Sunday, April 27, 2014

Dear Oli,

So there's a  _Wattpad_  app, and I'm still freaking about it!

You know what that means?

_Wattpad on the go._

So Mom decided that she wanted to go to Church today.

But I took too long getting ready, so we had to go to the big non-denominational church about twenty minutes away.

It has a teen section, a baby section, a preschool section, a middle school section, and an elementary section in addition to the main church.

Mikey went to the teen section, he's social like that.

But I always feel uncomfortable sitting there all alone. And I don't like initiating conversation with strangers.

One thing I love about that Church which is called  _Potential Church_ (because it's about reaching your  _God potential_ ), is that they serve coffee and tea at the entrance of the main church. I think it works as motivation for people who wouldn't go to Church otherwise.

If you promise me  _Starbucks_  coffee, I'm totally there.

So Mom and I got ourselves coffee and went into the the auditorium where they were blaring Christian rock.

_It was surprisingly decent._

And the keyboardist was sexy.

The only problem I had was that they played too much music at the beginning. If they didn't, we could have gotten out of there a half an hour earlier so I could've read a  _Sebaciel_  fanfic or something on  _Wattpad._

But honestly, it was better than Catholic church would have been.

They just ask for money the whole time.

And they say weird prayers.

I only know a couple since I haven't gotten confirmed.

I really don't want to, but I'm sure Mom is going to make me.

But why would I want to be part of something that doesn't respect  _women?_

If women can't be priests, I don't want to be Catholic.

Mikey doesn't care about womens' rights though. He got confirmed.

 _Plus,_  aren't you supposed to choose a saint or something? I think  _Saint George_ was de-canonized or something, so I don't think I could find another saint. I mean the guy slayed a fucking  _dragon._  That's pretty awesome.

So then Mom decided that she didn't want to go home to eat so she dragged us to  _Bahama Breeze_ and I just read on my phone.

I finished a few chapters.

But I must say, their  _firecracker shrimp_  is _to die for._

Then we went back home, and of course, went back to our groundage.

So I completed the story I was reading and started a new one.

Then the most horrible thought came to my mind. One I had been avoiding for what seemed like forever...  
  


_I have school tomorrow._

I wanted to pull my hair out in frustration,  _hell,_  I still do.

I have a few more hours until I have to enter that hellhole.

A few more hours until I have to see  _Mr. Husk._

I really don't want to see him.

Especially since I embarrassed myself so bad before.

_But whatever._

That's in the past.

And hopefully everyone will have forgotten.

But on the bright side, maybe I'll see  _Frank._

That makes school worth it, I think.

XO,

**G**


End file.
